Let's Go Save The World Together.

i live with my boyfriend, the person i deeply care about & cherish… yet, it seems as if we...

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 21:43:23 -0500

i live with my boyfriend, the person i deeply care about & cherish…

yet, it seems as if we aren’t even dating sometimes.

i mean, he has his best friends living with us as well..

i enjoy that, but i feel like he takes it for granted, and expects me to just wait and be there at the end of the day..when he wants, not when i want.

i just feel like im not his number one anymore & i dont know how to deal with it..

one day ill just be someone he walks past and doesnt look back, feels like.

ugh.

'my head is clogged with unsatisfying moments

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 01:54:43 -0500

I wish I could have a Rolled Blunt right now..

I kinda wish I had something to wake up to every morning. Like a sweet, breakfast in bed, a flower, something. or maybe i just clog my mind with all these fantasy thoughts that will never happen.

oneday.

l-e-n: Suzanne <3 IMY GUH! hahahaha, this night lmao love...

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 13:22:16 -0500

l-e-n:

Suzanne <3 IMY GUH!

hahahaha, this night lmao

love ittttt

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Sun, 30 Sep 2012 02:43:19 -0400

wowwww

Sun, 16 Sep 2012 05:46:49 -0400

i want to cry…

so tonight deff didn’t go exactly as i planned. :/

i never thought i was the person to never lay a hand on someone else bc that was how i was raised…but no as i grow older, its harder to control. to be honest, i was abused when i was older, maybe thats why im so tough, maybe not “tough” but i dont like to deal with stuff that i dont like for so much long..bc one day i snap. idk, tonight was soooo much different, i know i have my wrongs. i do, i understand that, but most of the time it is hard for me to accept that. but sometimes i know im not wrong..which this situation i know im wrong from the beginning, but it escalated…escalated to the point where i couldnt handle it. im used to people yelling at me especially my family, but i never thought it would come to this. this very moment…i honestly never thought i would go this far. i always control my anger but idk how or for what reason i actually snapped. i have this boyfriend. which he is wonderful, but we have our moments and tonight was one of those moments…we fought, and this guy stepped in and fought him. he has sooo many cuts on him while i have a simple scratch, and i wonder how did i do this? which i most likely think it was bc of me..we were both drunk, but he was more intoxicated than i was. i know that but i should have never done that but i let him push me down twice and the third time, i snapped. i just dont know. maybe he was right, but i dont feel like it. and to be honest, i know i was in the right. its one thing to yell at someone first(me), but its a different story to put your hands on someone(him), like i dont play that type of stuff. i cant do it. ive already had enough doing that . there is so much more to this story i just dont want to explain… :/ maybe one day i can explain.////

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Wed, 29 Aug 2012 00:45:57 -0400

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Wed, 29 Aug 2012 00:41:50 -0400

p-a-r-a-p-h-e-r-n-a-l-i-a: adventure twerkin

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 00:22:12 -0400

p-a-r-a-p-h-e-r-n-a-l-i-a:

adventure twerkin

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Tue, 28 Aug 2012 23:44:15 -0400

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Tue, 28 Aug 2012 23:42:49 -0400

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Tue, 28 Aug 2012 23:38:47 -0400

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Tue, 28 Aug 2012 23:38:07 -0400

plastic nameplates

Sun, 19 Aug 2012 21:47:00 -0400

<a href=’http://www.cengraving.com’>plastic nameplates</a>

http://www.cengraving.com/

Check them out! (:

Time For School

Sun, 19 Aug 2012 21:37:36 -0400

So, this company usbmemorydirect is giving away FREE flash drives for a back2school promotion!

You guys should get one & help promote them!

All you have to do is sign up & receive it.

http://www.usbmemorydirect.com/giveaways/back_to_school_2012.htm

just like every other girl.

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 04:07:26 -0400

pretty much i feel like i fucked up, or maybe i didnt fuck up…i just dont know what i want. i am so bipolar in relationships. im happy one moment, then unhappy another.i should just not date anyone. just stay single, right? but i hate that feeling of being alone, that feeling that you let the one get away bc you forced it upn yourself. which, i do hate that i do that in every good relationship i have. but some part of me doesnt care, i have no caring for anything..not even myself. at some points, i live my life and i continue to be happy by being with the people around me, but life doesnt actually matter to me. nothing does. at least not yet.

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Sat, 21 Jul 2012 03:41:39 -0400

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Sun, 24 Jun 2012 02:47:02 -0400

time for a deep conversation..

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 01:36:48 -0400

basically for fathers day, my new bf and i went to my uncles house & bbqed. my uncle bought a new grill just so would cookout & my bf cooked all the food. we had steak & shrimp, along with white rice, spicy nachos doritos, tortilla chips, salsa, sandwiches, & most importantly, beer. my uncle had a 12 pack of heinikein while my bf had a 12 pack of yuengling. then, we smoked some goooooood weed. oh lawd.. lol but as the night progessed, my bf & my uncle began talking about the most randomest things that ended up turning into a deep conversation.

topic: survival of the fittest.

my bf theory from what i infer: he says that animals live by this & thats how it should be. for example, mother birds will eventually just throw her babies out of the nest & those babies who fly..survive & those babies that fall to the ground & die..do not survive & thats how life should be. if this method stuck around to humans, there would not be overpopulation. in terms that survival is key. everyone/animals want to survive. the ones that cannot survive just cant survive. now, in humans especially in america bc we are sooo overpopulated, i feel…we have emotions, mainly feelings at a greater level, which animals dont have. birds dont care if their babies die or not bc its the matter of survival. the mother has to take of the babies & herself which is hard. so why not just let the babies go & see if they are ready? the mother has to fend for herself. its survival. so when the time comes for the mother to let go, the babies should know what to do.but in america, we take care of our disabled humans bc we are. those disables humans are our family members, friends, random people, anyone. those disabled people cant take care of themselves without help. if you think of it in relation to animals, animals just put their babies out there & let them go, they dont care, but humans do. we show that emotion & cant just let our own die if they are disabled. its hard. & on top of that, china controls the population of their country. they kill the first born if its a girl. its effecient, but not the best way, bc we would consider it “inhumane” bc we are humans, but animals do that all the time, but its looked upon like its normal. to the point, i believe survival of the fittest would be the most appropriate way to live life in terms of “natures course.”

some people will understand what im talking about. others wont. im not sure if i explained this theory the best i could bc my mind is running so much faster than me typing words out. i hope someone else understands the way i do.

as for the night, i feel alot better that i finally was able to blog, i needed something new to talk about.

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Wed, 13 Jun 2012 19:40:00 -0400

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Wed, 13 Jun 2012 19:36:28 -0400